Crazy Bell Schedules

This morning I made the 15 mile trek to the high school I work with as part of my liaison responsibilities through the university. I was supposed to meet with the principal and a couple of teachers 4th period. When I arrived, I learned that because of unexpected testing, the schedule had been altered and students were just finishing 1st period (at 10:05 AM). Classes were only 30 minutes long, so I borrowed a teacher's laptop to do some writing while I waited until lunchtime and our rescheduled meeting.

Note: trigonometry is a foreign language-- just thought I'd throw that out there

During 3rd period, the principal came on the intercom:

"Students, please remember to go to your 5th period class after 3rd period. Or go to lunch, whichever normally comes first. Then go to your 4th period class, followed by your 6th period class. And because you've been so cooperative during the testing scheduling, we will extend lunch by 15 minutes."

During the lunch meeting, the principal's walkie talkie kept getting messages: "Which period are we in now? Should I be ringing the bell? What about the boy who took both lunches?"

Time for a spoof! Here's my new and improved version of the principal's original announcement:

"Students, thank you for coming to school fourteen minutes and twenty two seconds earlier than normal today. We'll be sure to use that extra instructional time wisely. Today is backwards schedule day, combined with mix up the content areas day. Please report to your fourth period class first. That makes it first period subprime a. Twenty minutes into first period subprime a, please report to period seven, which will become first period subprime b. The last five minutes of first period subprime b, report back to your original first period. Next will be lunch, interrupted after fifteen minutes by a bell signaling your report to third period (second period subprime a). Another bell will signal that your food is sufficiently digested to report to physical education. We're kicking off our new Exercise Across the Curriculum (EAC) program. Please report to the gym for our EAC 'thuse (formerly known as a pep rally), led by the science department. They used the second half of lunch (second period subprime b) to create a "Physics and physical activity can be phun" cheer which they will share with the student body. After the 'thuse, report to the last remnants of your regular second period class. We're not sure what time it will be at that point, so the rest of the day will be divided into equal time blocks and you will go to seventh period, then third period, then sixth period, and finally fifth period (isn't that alliteration nice?). Thank you, and have a great day."

Hmm- makes about as much sense as the bell schedules I've seen . . .