Sunday, December 7, 2008

Technokitty


Hi. My name's Britomart, and while Mom's taking a Sunday nap, I decided it's time for me to write on the blog. This computer keyboard's a cinch to use; I just walk on the keys in the right order. I just pretend to walk randomly when Mom's awake so she doesn't know of my cyberspace capabilities. As long as I don't order anything with her credit card-- and as long as YOU don't say anything-- the secret will be safe.
So anyway, Mom's been reading this book called The Devious Book for Cats lately. I think it was supposed to be a Christmas present for me and my sister, but maybe she's reading it first. I've been sneaking peeks at it when she's at work, and it's all about how cats need to live exciting lives and let their true personalities be seen, so I'm going to write about yesterday from MY view (you get Mom's view way too often; how boring and one-sided).
7 AM- Mom's alarm rang. I hate that thing; just when I've finally found a comfortable position partially on Mom's pillow and partially across her head, it rings and she moves. I know she's going to ignore it for a few more minutes (sometimes she falls completely back to sleep), so why even set it? This time Mom got up pretty much right away. At least when she gets up she turns up the heat so that warm air blows out of the fun holes in the floor (see photo above). If she'd keep the heat turned up enough all night, I'd sleep on the hole in the dining room floor and she wouldn't have to worry about whether or not she can breathe when I sleep on her head.
7:15- Scripture reading time. Sometimes when I run to the hole in the floor to get some warmth, my sister Alice jumps up and takes prime lap spot away. Usually I just hiss at her to move, but today I felt generous and let her sit on Mom's lap the entire time. I do my scripture reading at night while Mom's sleeping; Alice prefers to read along with Mom in the mornings.
8 AM- Mom got dressed in a bunch of layers and said something about going outside to run on the Rail Trail. Today?!? Who wants to go out in the cold? People are silly. Alice and I curled up together on the bed to wait for her to get back. Sometimes Mom feeds us when she gets done running; maybe the endorphins make her feel extra generous.
9:30 AM- Mom must not have gotten lots of endorphins this run, because she didn't feed us after coming back. She said something about it's a Saturday and we can be fed in the evening like regular. Rats. Anyhow, she went in the backyard to play with leaves. She was out there a long time. How come I don't get to go outside and play with the leaves? She put them in big plastic bags and hauled them to the other side of the house; maybe she wants to play with them later. Again, though, it's kind of cold to be playing outside. Why didn't she just stay indoors so I could nap on her? I went back to the heater vent (see above photo).
11:30 AM- Yes! Mom took my favorite sweater out of the closet and put it on the bed! It's like a big comfy afghan and I like to knead my paws on it and purr. Mom put it on before I could do jump on it, though, and then went out in her new winter coat (note to self: must investigate new coat further). She said something about Christmas shopping. It was starting to snow, so I went back to the heater vent.
2 PM- Mom came home and did some reading. Lap time- score! I was pretty comfy; and then I realized the coat was unattended, stretched across the quilt rack in the dining room. All I had to do was pull it down with one paw and I could sit on it. Ahhh . . . down. Nice! Too bad Mom made me get off it after a few minutes.
3:30 PM- Very hungry. Time to pester Mom. I generally take turns with Alice on this. She hops up and yowls in Mom's face, then runs to the food bowl. Then a few minutes later I do the same thing. It hasn't worked yet, but we're campaigning for meal time to be moved up two hours. I checked to see if there was anything interesting in the kitchen garbage can under the sink, but Mom remembered to attach the child lock on the cupboard handles. Bummer.
5 PM- Meal time! Hurray! Best five minutes of the day. Too bad I have to share food with Alice. She takes too long to eat and gets her face in the way.
6 PM- Hmm, Mom made some food for herself that smelled good. I wanted to hop up and investigate, but she was still a little tense about my jumping in the middle of the dining room table a few days ago and licking out a bowl of Thanksgiving leftovers. What's the big deal? I waited politely for her to finish and everything. All those good remnants were going to get washed down the sink!
7 PM- Mom, Alice, and I read some Christmas scriptures while she burned a Christmas advent candle. I wish Mom would let me light the candle. Oh wait; I don't have opposable thumbs. Problem.
8 PM- Mom talked on the phone with a friend. I got some more quality lap time. She doesn't know that I nibbled a bit of the Christmas tree as well. . .
11 PM- Mom went to bed. She turned the heat down again, so I couldn't get air to come up through the heating vent. Had to sleep on her head again. I wanted to burrow under the covers, but she doesn't always like that. Maybe someday I'll figure out how to turn on the heat myself.
Sunday afternoon: Who needs a heater? The sun's out! See you later- I'm going sunbathing.

3 comments:

Emy5 said...

Britomart, you are a clever and devious cat to go on your mom's computer like that. That's why I, your friend Cali have to give a try.

Who needs to go outside to play with leaves, and run, when there are plenty of vents to sit on, or better still laps? Duh? I totally agree with you.

I am so impressed that you read scriptures. That's pretty cool. I read all sorts of things but my favourite is The Cat in the Hat.

I don't sleep on my mom's head but I do share a bed with many family memers. Most nights Jamie and Ally come in and I think I am going to have to put a stop to that.

I feel for you having to share your food. I am an only cat, so I don't have that problem.

However, that thingy with the thumbs? Not a good deal. Think of all the fun we could have lighting matches. (evil laughter) Okay, maybe I shouldn't be leading you astray.

I'll be good now. Oh, Mom's coming. Time to go. Don't tell her I was here, Okay?

Meowwwww

Emy5 said...

Britomart, you are a clever and devious cat to go on your mom's computer like that. That's why I, your friend Cali have to give a try.

Who needs to go outside to play with leaves, and run, when there are plenty of vents to sit on, or better still laps? Duh? I totally agree with you.

I am so impressed that you read scriptures. That's pretty cool. I read all sorts of things but my favourite is The Cat in the Hat.

I don't sleep on my mom's head but I do share a bed with many family memers. Most nights Jamie and Ally come in and I think I am going to have to put a stop to that.

I feel for you having to share your food. I am an only cat, so I don't have that problem.

However, that thingy with the thumbs? Not a good deal. Think of all the fun we could have lighting matches. (evil laughter) Okay, maybe I shouldn't be leading you astray.

I'll be good now. Oh, Mom's coming. Time to go. Don't tell her I was here, Okay?

Meowwwww

literaqueen said...

Quick, while Mom's wrapping presents-- I'll respond! I don't want to burn down my house or singe my whiskers. I just want some nice Christmas warmth. Grandma's coming to visit, so I'll have TWO laps to choose from-- hurray!

Definitely keep Alli and Jamie away from your sleeping area. Kids are trouble.

Meowy Christmas!